


victory lap

by airnomadenthusiast



Series: suki n toph [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Established Relationship, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I think of it as a gen fic but it's also pretty sad and we get into some trauma so, Sukkangst, tagged teen just to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27167471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airnomadenthusiast/pseuds/airnomadenthusiast
Summary: Right after the war ended, around the time of Zuko’s coronation and later when they’d all been staying in Ba Sing Se and relaxing, things had been great. They’d all hung out at the Jasmine Dragon every day, for hours a day, just talking about nothing in particular, and, best of all, she’d gotten to see Sokka every day. The war, the cloud that had hung over Suki’s head every day, had dissipated, if only for a moment.But Suki should have known it wouldn’t last.or, Suki's post-war adventures in being "perfect"
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Suki & The Gaang, Suki & Toph, Suki & Ty Lee
Series: suki n toph [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983044
Comments: 11
Kudos: 53





	victory lap

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhhh cannot BELIEVE I'm finally posting this I worked so hard and long on it. you don't have to read sore loser to get this but I'd appreciate it sm if you did! TW for abuse, discussion of war and genocide. Thank you so much to @GildedFlowers for betaing, you're the best and I love you so much.

Suki barged into the Jasmine Dragon, her Kyoshi makeup sweating. She knew Kyoshi must have spent time in Ba Sing Se, but she couldn’t imagine Kyoshi, in all her wisdom, choosing to make the uniform this thick knowing that summers in the city could get _so_ _hot_. 

There was a line, but she marched straight past it, to where Jet was working the register. “I need a cup of green tea and I need it now.” 

Jet kept chewing on his wheat, cool as you please. “Back of the line, Suki,” he said. “We got other customers.” 

“Your other customers don’t have weapons on them,” Suki growled. 

Jet shrugged. “You never know in Ba Sing Se. I’ve got seven knives on me right now. Back of the line, or I’ll tell Iroh you’re ordering green tea.” 

Suki squinted at him. “Where are they?” 

Jet laughed. “You don’t want to know.” 

Suki grumbled and stomped to the back of the line. She could practically feel Jet smirking at her. What Katara had ever seen in him, Suki didn’t know. 

(That wasn’t true. She loved Jet, they all did, but Suki’s particular way of loving Jet was acting like she hated him. It worked for them.)

Somehow, on a hot summer day, a tea shop that only served hot tea was still packed. Suki wondered if they’d been working late hours like she was, or if they were genuine tea enthusiasts. There was a cute girl five people ahead of her, and Suki made a mental note to mention it to Sokka when she had the chance. 

If. If she had the chance. 

Suki sighed. Right after the war ended, around the time of Zuko’s coronation and later when they’d all been staying in Ba Sing Se and relaxing, things had been great. They’d all hung out at the Jasmine Dragon every day, for hours a day, just talking about nothing in particular, and, best of all, she’d gotten to see Sokka every day. The war, the cloud that had hung over Suki’s head every day, had dissipated, if only for a moment. 

But Suki should have known it wouldn’t last. Eventually, Zuko had to actually start running his country, and Mai and Toph went with him, so she hardly saw them anymore. Shortly after that, Aang had left for Avatar reasons that he didn’t really specify, and Katara and Sokka had gone back to their tribe. It was just her, the other Warriors, Jet, and Iroh in the city now. 

And that was fine. That was completely fine. She had a job to do, negotiating peace treaties with the Fire Nation soldiers who were still in the Earth Kingdom and protecting the Earth King. Most of the time, when she couldn’t trust Kuei to have a coherent thought, or her warriors had to take care of Basco, or Fire Nation soldiers growled and hissed at them like the war was still going, she didn’t even think about her friends. But when she couldn’t sleep, she pictured making dinner with Katara, or watching Zuko try to remember one of his uncle’s sayings, or playing with Aang, or sparring with Toph, or Sokka nuzzling into her shoulder as they both fell asleep. 

She approached the register, again. “One green tea, please.” 

Jet smirked. “You got it, boss. You look like you need it.” 

“I haven’t been sleeping,” she muttered quietly. Sometimes, it was easier to feed Basco or to draw her fans in front of a Fire Nation soldier than it was to think of her friends. So that’s what she did. 

Jet rang her up, and she sat at the window, slumping into her seat. And then she pulled out all the letters she hadn’t read. 

One from Zuko on official stationery, formally inviting the Kyoshi Warriors to be the Firelord’s personal guard. And one from Zuko on regular parchment, written in his own hand, quietly coming clean about the past two assassination attempts, which Suki took to mean that he really did need her. A few from Aang, though they were just notes really, asking her about her day and her job and oh yeah, a spirit came close to killing him but it was all in good fun, how was she doing? Two from Katara, detailed accounts of what was going on in the Southern Water Tribe in perfectly neat handwriting (though it did smudge with what Suki assumed were happy tears when she described the conversation that she’d had with her brother and father when they all decided that she would become chief when Hakoda died, and again when she described Hakoda and Bato’s marriage ceremony.) On the second one, there was a postscript telling her to reply to Sokka’s letters, as “he’s been moping for a month.” 

Three letters from Sokka. The first one was bright, full of “sweetheart” and “babe”, constantly talking about the next time he and Suki would see each other. In the second one, the pet names had decreased significantly, but he still spoke excitedly of the next time they’d see each other, and how happy he was that they were together. The last was short and to the point. _Did I do something? What did I do? I can fix it, I promise. Love, Sokka._

One from Toph, six months ago. She had read this one, but she still kept it on her. As a reminder. 

_Suki,_

_Eat food. Go to sleep._

_Toph._

She hadn’t replied, because try as she might, she wasn’t eating and she wasn’t sleeping, Everybody else wanted something from her, to guard them at the Fire Palace or to not ask questions about what they were doing in the Spirit World or to provide her own detailed account of her life in cramped, perfect handwriting or to be a good girlfriend. All Toph wanted her to do was sleep and eat, and she couldn’t even manage that. 

Jet brought her the tea. She gulped it down. 

“Two for one special?” he asked. 

“Please.”

______________________

That night, she tried her best to reply. 

To Zuko: _I’m so sorry you went through that. I’ll send Ty Lee for now, and hopefully I can get us out of these negotiations so more of us can come. It would help if you could find some way to call these soldiers out of the Earth Kingdom. I know you’re trying your best, but—_

Suki crossed the last two sentences out. He’d almost been assassinated. She shouldn’t make him feel guilty on top of that. 

_I hope you’re feeling better. The rest of us will come just as soon as we can._

To Aang: _Spirits, are you all right? Do you need anything? Let me know if you need anything._

Suki laughed to herself as she crossed it out. He would never. He was just as bad at asking for help as she was. 

_If you ever want to see me, let me know. I may not be the Avatar, but I’d love to hang out in the Spirit World with you._

Aang was a sucker for hanging out with friends. She’d trick him yet. 

The reply to Katara was a bit more difficult. Suki’s candle burned through as she tried her hardest to capture the sights and sounds of Ba Sing Se, recall specific stories about her adventures with the Earth King and the Fire Nation soldiers. She included some jabs at the soldiers that weren’t strictly fact, knowing Katara would at the very least appreciate a good story. She marked the end of her very long letter with _I’ll write Sokka. I promise._ Katara took promises seriously, especially if they came from Suki, and Suki wouldn’t dare disappoint her. 

By then, the moon was high in the sky, and Suki’s candle was very nearly burnt out. It was a full moon tonight, and Suki thought of Yue, as she knew Sokka always did on nights like these. Suki had never met her, but the way Sokka talked about her, she wished she had. It would be nice to be able to know someone so extraordinary as to give up her life for the world. 

Suki straightened her back. Without even thinking, her eyes turned back to Toph’s letter. 

_Eat food. Go to sleep._

Suki blew out her candle. She’d write her letter to Sokka in the morning. For now, it was time to rest.

_______________________

When she reached the Fire Palace, Zuko greeted her with open arms. 

“It’s good to see you, Suki,” he said. “It’s been too long.” 

“It’s good to see you too,” Suki said. 

Zuko smiled at her. “Have you written Sokka yet?” 

Suki rolled her eyes. “Yes, thank you and everybody else for asking, it’s in the mail, he’ll get it.” 

“Suki!” Ty Lee yelled, crushing her in a hug. “I’ve missed you so much!” 

Suki grinned. “I’ve missed you too.” She pulled away. “You’ve been holding down the fort, right?” 

Ty Lee nodded vigorously. “Keeping an eye on all the politicians here, making sure they don’t get up to any funny business—including Zuko and Mai, of course.” 

Suki nodded. She remembered the conversation she’d had with Ty Lee before sending her off ahead of the rest of the Warriors well, about how as a Kyoshi Warrior, it was her responsibility to maintain Kyoshi’s legacy, and that meant keeping her Fire Nation friends in line as much as it meant protecting them. Ty Lee was more perceptive than people gave her credit for, and Suki had no doubt that she’d picked up on the fact that Suki’s trust in her was still highly conditional. It wasn’t that long ago that Ty Lee had chi blocked the Warriors and left them for dead, and even if the rest of Suki’s friends were ready to forget that, she wasn’t. 

“Good work,” she said. “So, where am I sleeping? I’ve got to put this bag down at some point, right?” 

Zuko insisted on personally showing Suki to her rooms, alone. Suki wasn’t sure what the secrecy was for, considering that he’d basically brought up her relationship problems in front of Ty Lee, but she found out soon enough. 

“Thought you should know that Ty Lee’s been visiting Azula during her free time,” he said, almost casually. 

Suki felt her heart rate speed up, but she tried to remain calm. “How do you know?” 

Zuko smirked. “Have you ever heard of the Blue Spirit? He’s got an accomplice now, the Red Spirit. She saw them.” 

Suki raised an eyebrow. “So Mai’s spying on your friend and telling you what she sees?” 

“Well, Mai was the first one to see where Ty Lee was going, but we’ve been going together lately. It’s great couples’ bonding.” 

Suki rolled her eyes so hard she could have sworn they were going to fall out of her face. “Okay. Do you know what Ty Lee’s doing with Azula?” 

Zuko leaned against the door frame. “I think they’re just talking, not conspiring or anything like that. Besides, there’s not much that Azula would be able to do, being in a facility. Even if we’re not watching her, someone else is.” His voice got quiet at that. “I wish there was some other way.” 

Suki wanted to be like Aang, who could let Ozai live, who asked Zuko if there was anything he could do to help Azula, who had visited her after the war and had stayed when she refused to even look in his direction. But she wasn’t like him. “She’s in a better position than she has any right to be in.” 

Zuko pursed his lips. “I’m sorry, Suki.” 

She frowned. “What for?” 

He laughed a little, but there was no mirth in it. “For burning down your village.” He looked towards the window in her room, a huge glass pane that spread from the ceiling to the floor, with a gold border. “I know the war is over, technically. But it’s still going on every day. Every time I have to remind my council that so much of this palace is made from materials that we stole from other nations, that the renovations and additions were done with labor from prisoners of war. Every time we have to think about what to do about Ty Lee and Azula.” He looked back at her, his dark brown eyes filled with a grim determination. “I’m sorry for that.” 

Suki gripped her fan more tightly than normal. “You’re doing all that you can, aren’t you?”

Zuko smiled at her. “If I was, would it be enough to make up for everything else?” 

She looked down at the floor. _No, it wouldn’t,_ she didn’t say. 

“Also, have you heard from Toph?”

Suki looked up sharply at the subject change. “No, I haven’t. Not for months.” 

“And that doesn’t worry you at all?” 

Guilt rose up in Suki’s throat. “She can handle herself.” 

“She’s twelve.” 

“You’re a seventeen year-old Firelord, Zuko. We all had to grow up more quickly than we would have liked, including Toph. I have enough on my plate without worrying about how Toph is doing, or Aang for that matter—” 

“Or Sokka?” Zuko asked. 

Suki scowled. 

“He misses you. He talks about you all the time in his letters.” 

“I told you, my letter’s in the mail. He’ll get it soon.” 

Zuko nodded. “I believe you. I know you care about him. Maybe too much. Toph, too.” He moved to leave. “I’ll let you get settled.” 

Suki watched him go. “Thank you, Zuko.” 

He turned around to grin at her. His hair was long now, down except for the top knot. It looked good. “What are friends for?” 

Suki carried her bag into her room. It was beautiful. Silk sheets, mahogany bed frame, plenty of windows for the sun to shine through. Everything painted red or covered in gold. She could barely stand to look at it. 

A desk, with paper and a pen at the ready. 

Suki went over and sat down. 

_Dear Toph,_

_I’m sorry it’s been so long since we’ve talked. I don’t know what your exact address is these days, so hopefully this message reaches you. I’ve heard that Fire Nation hawks are very good at finding their marks, even when people aren’t. I hope that’s true._

Suki took a deep breath. 

_Thank you so much for your letter. It’s helped a lot. You know me. Sometimes I forget to take care of myself, and I need a reminder. That’s something I always really admired about you, Toph—you know how to take care of yourself. Most of the time, we don’t have to worry about you. I’ve been so caught up with myself the past few months, I’ve forgotten to worry about you. Zuko says he hasn’t heard from you, and neither have I. Just—send something along, okay? Let us know you’re taking care of yourself._

_Love, Suki_

_______________________

A few weeks later, Suki hadn't gotten a reply from Sokka or from Toph. Now, she was starting to get worried. 

After the first two weeks, she wrote Katara again, and she’d gotten a reply back within a week, saying that Sokka had received her letter and no, neither of them had heard from Toph. Suki didn’t miss the fact that Katara’s letter this time was considerably shorter than her previous two letters, or that the tone she took was terse and unfriendly. But she decided not to worry about it. There was enough going on without worrying about what Katara could possibly be upset about. 

First, there was her actual job, being in the Fire Palace most of the time, tailing Zuko and the people in his court, ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice to break up a fight. And they got close to fighting a lot. Every day, Zuko tried to move his council towards paying out reparations to the nations that they’d hurt in the war, to Aang so he could rebuild the Air Temples. And every day, the councilmembers asked the same questions: “Who’s going to pay for it?” “You would take money from the hardworking people of the Fire Nation and give it to an _Air Nomad_?” And when Zuko brought up that it would mostly be money from noble families, that their money had gone to far less just causes in the past and they’d handed it over without a second thought, the entire session devolved into aggression and bigotry. Suki sat by, quietly, waiting for the day where she would have the opportunity to throw her fan at Lord Ito under the guise of “protecting the Firelord.” 

Then there was the issue of Ty Lee. Suki had accompanied Mai and Zuko to follow Ty Lee a couple times, but after the second time, she decided to leave it to them. They weren’t figuring anything out beyond the fact that Ty Lee and Azula were talking. Ty Lee wasn’t acting suspicious: just doing her job and hanging out with her friends on her off hours. But Suki had already been a little hesitant around Ty Lee, and knowing that she was hanging around Azula behind Suki’s back just made the whole thing worse. 

Every day, early in the morning, Suki asked if anything had come in the mail for her. Every day, the hawkmaster said no. 

So it was a bit of a shock when she saw Sokka in the kitchens. 

“So then I said, ‘it’s pentapox! And they all have it!’” 

The kitchen staff burst out laughing. Suki stared at him, absolutely dumbfounded. 

It was only a second before he noticed her. His eyes went wide for a brief moment, but then he turned back to the people he was having a conversation with, as if he hadn’t seen her at all. 

Suki turned on her heel and made her way to Zuko’s room. She barged in to find Mai lounging on Zuko’s bed while he was hunched over at his desk. 

“Sokka’s here?” 

“Nice to see you, Suki.” Zuko said, barely looking up at her. He was wearing reading glasses. _Zuko needs glasses?_ Nobody ever told her anything. 

“How has your day been?” Mai asked without the slightest hint of emotion in her voice. She flipped another page of her book. “Zuko, it’s still boring.” 

“It gets good, I promise.” 

Mai sighed. “All right, fine.” She turned her attention back to the book. 

“Neither of you are addressing the important thing, which is that Sokka’s here, and nobody told me, and he hasn’t answered my letter!” 

“I thought he was giving you space after you dumped him?” Mai asked. 

Suki’s eyes grew wide. “I did not _dump him_ , who told you that?” 

“I mean, I guess he didn’t say ‘dump’ per se, but everybody knows ‘I need space’ means that the person you’re with wants to break up but is too afraid to actually say the words. You know, that’s actually exactly what Zuko said in his letter to me.” She snickered before launching into what was actually a fair Zuko impression. “I love you, Mai, but I need space to _find myself_ —” 

Zuko groaned, but Suki could see him smiling still. “You said you were going to stop making fun of me for that.” 

Mai smirked. “I lied. I’m making fun of you for that for the rest of our lives.” 

Zuko pouted a little before he caught her meaning, and he turned around to grin at her like she was the most wonderful thing in the world. Suki averted her eyes. 

“Just—why is Sokka _here_? He’s supposed to be in the South Pole,” Suki grumbled. 

Zuko broke away from staring adoringly at Mai to actually talk to Suki, thank Spirits. “I invited him. He’s representing the Southern Water Tribes in the reparations negotiations.” 

Suki’s eyes went wide. “You actually got the council to agree to reparations?” 

Zuko shook his head. “No, I got them to agree to negotiate on possibly paying out reparations. It’s a work in progress. Aang’s coming, too. I imagine he’ll be here tonight.” 

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” 

“You were in the room when we made the plans, I thought you were paying attention!” 

“I’ve got a lot of other stuff to deal with besides paying attention to _your job_ , Zuko!” 

Mai rolled her eyes. “Look, just walk up to Sokka, tell him you didn’t mean it and you’re so sorry and you want to get back together. I guarantee he’ll forgive you. And then you guys can go back to being disgusting.” 

Suki scoffed. “Oh, Sokka and I are the disgusting ones, huh?” 

“I mean, you’re very public about your affection for one another,” Zuko said, stroking Mai’s hand. 

“Exactly,” Mai said, getting up to press a kiss on Zuko’s head. 

Suki crossed her arms. “Both of you are missing the point, which is that Sokka and I never broke up in the first place!” 

“Well, he seems to think so,” Zuko said. “He sent me quite the letter afterwards.” 

“I don’t want to break up with him!” Suki yelled, pacing back and forth. “All I wanted was—” 

What did she want? For him to stop talking so much about her coming to visit when he knew she didn’t have time for that. For him to stop needing her when everybody else needed her too. For his letters to be a little less frequent.

She turned on her heel and marched out of the room. 

And bumped right into Sokka. 

Sokka’s black eyes were so wide, and for a moment, she could see the way he used to look at her: soft, smiling. He looked at her the way people looked at the sky on a bright day. Like it would never fail them, even though they knew that someday soon, a storm was going to come. 

But that was only for a moment. Then, his gaze grew hard, defensive. “Excuse me. I need to talk to Zuko.” 

Suki opened her mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. She stepped aside, and he walked by. 

“Thanks.” 

She stood in the hallway a beat too long, watching him go. And then she collected herself, and walked away. 

Aang came that night, as Zuko had promised. Suki went out to greet him, careful to stand near Mai and Zuko. Sokka was a little further away, standing remarkably close to Ty Lee. Smiling at her. 

Suki shook it off. Apparently, this was what she wanted. This was probably what was best. 

Aang hopped off of Appa and hugged each and every one of them individually. He hesitated a little when he got to Suki, but then he hugged her even tighter than usual. When he pulled away, he whispered to her, “I don’t care what happened between you and Sokka. You’re my friend too, Suki.” 

Suki smiled wanly at him. “It’s good to see you, Aang.” 

When Aang got to Sokka, there was no hesitation, no affirmation of their friendship needed. They hugged like brothers reuniting, and that was that. 

It was late, and the way Mai was yawning made it evident that she at least wanted to go straight to bed, but Aang insisted they had important things to talk about. All of them, Mai and Ty Lee included, apparently. 

And that was fine. Of course that was fine. Mai and Suki got along, more or less. As well as she could get along with anybody who’d spent months trying to kill her and her friends. If she could forgive Zuko, she could forgive Mai. And she had. Ty Lee, on the other hand—well, it shouldn’t be any harder for her to forgive Ty Lee than it had been to forgive Mai or Zuko. And yet, here she was. 

Zuko led them to his private meeting room, a smaller space than the throne room or the room where he held his more formal council meetings. In the time she’d been here, only she, Mai, and Ty Lee had seen the inside of this room, and only for brief moments. 

Zuko pulled out Aang’s chair and let him sit before he sat himself. “So, Aang, what’s your big news?” 

Suki hadn’t seen that expression on Aang’s face since he was trying to decide whether to kill Ozai or not. “It’s about Toph.” 

Zuko nodded. “I haven’t heard from her.”

“I sent her a letter weeks ago. No reply,” Suki said. 

Sokka shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe she’s just bad at replying to letters. Some people are.” 

Suki tacitly avoided his gaze. 

“ _Nobody’s_ heard from her,” Aang said. “She’d been communicating pretty regularly with Katara up until recently, and Iroh said she’d been updating him on her location weekly until the letters just stopped, three weeks ago.” 

“Do you have any other contacts in the Earth Kingdom?” Zuko asked. “Maybe one of them has seen her.” 

Aang slumped in his seat. “Katara sent letters out to Pipsqueak, the Duke, Haru, and Meng. No luck. Bumi’s out searching for her right now.” 

“Wait, then who’s running Omashu?” Mai asked. 

“Flopsy,” Aang replied. “I don’t know, it’s just—it’s not like Toph to disappear like this. Not from us.” 

“Maybe her parents are trying to capture her again,” Sokka said. “They were desperate enough to try it last time.” 

“Maybe she needed to disappear,” Ty Lee said quietly. “Maybe she doesn’t want anyone to know where she is.” 

“She can’t just do that.” Mai pulled out one of her knives and sharpened it on the table. “Doesn’t she know that people worry about her?” 

“Maybe that was the point! Maybe she’s trying to tell us that she doesn’t need people worrying about her!” Ty Lee was glaring at Mai hard now. 

Zuko sighed. “She’s thirteen, Ty Lee.” 

“Yeah, it’s not like Aang, he’s been roaming around the world by himself since before he could talk. That’s just an Air Nomad thing,” Sokka said. 

Zuko looked down at the table. “ _Was_ an Air Nomad thing.” 

“ _Will be_ an Air Nomad thing again,” Aang said, voice steady. “I don’t care what Katara says, our kids are going to be flying all over the world—” 

“Okay, Aang, you’re thirteen too, stop talking about you and my sister’s future children,” Sokka said, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

“I’m almost fourteen.” 

“Okay, can we please focus?” Suki’s leg was shaking underneath the table. “Nobody’s heard from Toph, and Bumi’s looking for her. Is there anything else we should do?” 

“Never let her out of our sight again,” Sokka muttered. “Why did we leave her unsupervised? Why did we think that was a good idea?” 

“We didn’t think. We were all wrapped up in what we were doing next,” Mai said. “And we left Toph to fend for herself.” 

Aang nodded. “Mai’s right. We messed up. I just hope we can fix it.” He sighed. “ That’s all my news. Get some sleep, everybody. We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us.” 

Suki took a deep breath. Work. There would always be more. 

As she was leaving, Sokka pulled her aside. “Listen, can we talk?” 

Suki blinked. “Okay.” 

He pulled her into another unused room. This one was a lot smaller and a lot darker and reminded Suki, inexplicably, of the night she’d run into Zuko while trying to sneak into Sokka’s tent. She cleared her throat. 

“Did you say something?” Sokka asked. 

Suki shook her head. “Wh—what was it that you needed to talk to me about?”

Sokka pursed his lips. “Look, I know you would never intentionally do anything to hurt Toph—” 

“What?” 

“I just—ugh, this isn’t coming out right.” He crossed his arms. “If you’d heard from her, you would tell us, right?” 

Suki frowned. “Of course.” 

“Even if she told you to keep it a secret? Even if she said, very clearly, that she didn’t want anybody but you to know where she was?” 

“Sokka, where is this coming from?” 

“I just—” He inhaled. “Toph loves us all a lot, Suki. But I think she’s afraid of worrying us. Or worrying me, Katara, Aang, and Zuko. And I—I don’t think she would think that you’d be worried about her. Maybe she would be right.” 

Suki raised her eyebrows. “What, so I don’t care about Toph as much as you do?”

“No, you care, Suki, I know you do, but you treat her—” 

“Like a person?” 

“Like an adult!” Sokka put his head in his hands. “She needs somebody to look out for her, not somebody to tell her she can do it all on her own.” 

“I’ve never said that to her.” Suki grimaced, holding her fans tight. “We were all kids, Sokka. We still are. Do you see anybody looking out for us?” 

“My dad,” Sokka said. “Bato. Bumi. Piandao. Jeong Jeong. Iroh, I guess. And we look out for each other. We always have.” 

“Not for me,” Suki hissed. “You, Aang, and Katara all have each other, and your dad, and Bato, and Zuko has Iroh. All Toph and I have are ourselves. She knows just as well as I do.” 

When Suki met Sokka’s eyes, they looked pained. His lip trembled. “You have me, Suki,” he said, slowly, earnestly. “Both of you do. You always will.” 

He tried for a smile, but just then, Suki could barely stand to look at him. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, walking out the door, away from him. 

________________________

Suki was determined to make the most of guard duty with Ty Lee. The Toph situation and the conference on reparations may have diverted Zuko and Mai’s attention away from whatever Ty Lee was doing with Azula, but Suki knew she could handle two problems at once. 

(Three problems: the Toph situation, whatever Ty Lee was doing with Azula, and Sokka. But right now, Suki had to prioritize Toph and Ty Lee. She just… she had to.) 

Right now, Ty Lee and Suki were watching this conference on reparations, keeping everybody in line. Not that it would be necessary to keep Sokka or Aang in line. Both of them were handling the situation with grace, even as the Fire Nation councilmembers made snide remarks about both of their cultures and insinuated that they would misuse the funds. Sokka’s smile had definitely grown more fake as the meeting went on, but he was still smiling all the same. 

“These meetings can go for a long time, can’t they?” Suki said. 

Ty Lee nodded. “I don’t know how Mai can even stand it. I’d be doing cartwheels in my seat if I were her.” She looked around furtively before whispering in Suki’s ear. “Honestly, I want to do a cartwheel right now.” 

Suki gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Totally. But I guess that’s why it’s important to have your downtime, isn’t it?”

Ty Lee nodded. “You’re so right. You know what? We should hang out sometime, you know, not while we’re guarding people. Or making sure that all the people in the Fire Nation government act ethically,” she added quickly. “I know this great makeup artist in Caldera—” 

“Maybe some other time,” Suki cut in. “It’s just, Toph being missing and all, I don’t think I really have time to get my makeup done, you know? Sometimes, your friends are just more important.” 

Ty Lee’s eyes widened a little, and she coughed. “Right. Of course.” A moment of awkward silence passed, and then Ty Lee said, “Suki, we’re friends, right?”

 _Absolutely not._ “Of course!” she replied, hoping against hope that she sounded convincing. 

Ty Lee beamed. “Okay, good. I was—” 

She stopped in the middle of her sentence, and it took everything Suki had not to roll her eyes. “You were what?” 

Ty Lee coughed. “Nothing.” She looked up at Suki. “You want to know something no one else knows?” 

Could it be that easy? “Um… yeah, sure.”

Ty lee got on her tiptoes to whisper in Suki’s ear. “When we were kids, I had the biggest crush on Mai.” 

_Spirits._

“Oh, wow,” Suki said. “That’s… interesting.” 

Ty Lee grinned at her. “That’s how Azula had us prove to her that we were going to be best friends forever. Mai and I both had to tell her a secret, something we would never share with anyone else. She said… she said she wanted something she would be able to hold against us later. But I think she just wanted to get to know us in a way that nobody else would.”

It was moments like these where Suki actually felt sorry for Ty Lee. She was so brainwashed that she thought behavior like this was okay. Wasn’t she? There was no way that somebody could truly understand what Azula had done to her, and choose to look past it. And Ty Lee was the same age as the rest of them. Just as much of a kid as they were. 

But as soon as Suki recognized what she was feeling, she shoved it down. Ty Lee was exactly the kind of person Kyoshi taught her Warriors to defend themselves from. Someone who would be nice to their faces while her friend stabbed them in the back. And that’s what she tried to tell the other girls when they wanted to make Ty Lee a Kyoshi Warrior, but none of them listened. It was Suki against all of them, trying in vain to protect Kyoshi’s legacy. And she’d failed. 

“What did you tell Azula?” Suki asked, suddenly curious. 

Ty Lee giggled. “If I told you, it wouldn’t be much of a secret, huh?” 

Suki pursed her lips. “Right. But it’s not like she would ever know. Who would tell her? The only person who’s seen her recently is Zuko. Right?” 

Ty Lee averted her gaze quickly. “Of course.” 

Suki gingerly touched Ty Lee’s shoulder. “You know, you can talk to me right? You can tell me the truth.” 

Ty Lee shook her head. “There’s nothing to tell.” 

“Oh, Ty Lee, come on, it’s—” 

“You remind me of her,” Ty Lee said quickly. “Azula. I think you’d get along.” 

Suki’s eyes widened. “I—” 

“Maybe you should actually come with me to see her instead of listening to whatever Mai and Zuko say.” 

Suki stepped back. “Ty Lee, I—I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize—” 

Ty Lee laughed again, but it was hoarse and cold now. “I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I thought that you actually wanted me around? Nobody wants me around. I really was starting to feel like I belonged with the Kyoshi Warriors, but no, you’re all suspicious of me!” 

“No, Ty Lee, I—” 

“And you have every right to be! I did bad things, Suki, I know it. But I didn’t do them because I wanted to.” 

Some of the councilmembers were starting to look over at them. “Lower your voice, Ty Lee, please.” 

Her eyes brimmed with tears. “Suki, could you please just—just finish the rest of your shift without me. Clearly, you don’t need me anyway.” 

Ty Lee ran out of the room. Suki made a move to follow her, but just then, the hawkmaster came into the room. 

“Avatar Aang, a letter from King Bumi has just come for you. It’s marked urgent.”

Aang stood straight up. “Excuse me, everyone, I’ll be right back.” He ran towards the hawkmaster and snatched the letter out of his hands. 

“I hereby declare a recess,” Zuko said quickly, following Aang. Mai grabbed Suki’s arm. “Come on.” 

Aang was already in the private meeting room when Mai and Suki got there, studying the letter. “Bumi says he’s found Toph.” 

“Where?” Suki asked. 

“A small village in the southern Earth Kingdom. She’s… she didn’t send a message because people were after her—” 

“After her? Who?” Zuko growled, looking like he’d fight each and every one of them himself. 

“Some people she scammed, I think, oh, guys, this is _bad_ —” 

“Give it to me, Aang,” Sokka said, eerily calm. Aang handed over the letter. Sokka read through it carefully, and when he was done, he looked back up with a steely expression on his face. “The people who were after her caught up to her. She’s injured, Bumi didn’t say how badly, but she’s alive. There’s a healer in the village she’s in, but he’s not all that skilled.” 

“Tell Bumi to send her to the Fire Nation,” Zuko ordered. “We have the best healers in the world.” 

Sokka frowned. “You’re not serious, right?” 

“Of course I’m serious.” 

“Dude, my _sister’s_ the best healer in the world. If anything, we should send Toph to the Southern Water Tribe.” 

“Katara’s got enough on her plate studying to be chief without healing Toph as well.” 

“Katara’s _fine_ , it’s Toph we need to be worried about.” 

“Not worrying about our friends is how we got into this mess in the first place, Sokka,” Zuko muttered darkly. “At the very least, let’s send her to a Northern healer.” 

“Why would the Fire Nation have the best healers in the world?” Sokka was standing now. “Healing is a part of Waterbending, it’s a part of our culture—” 

“I—I didn’t mean to offend, you know that, but the Fire Nation has more resources—” 

Sokka scoffed. “Where do you think you got those resources from?” 

Zuko shut his mouth just as Ty Lee rushed into the room. “You got news about Toph?” 

Suki scowled. “What do you care? She’s not your friend. Azula is.” 

Ty Lee’s lip quivered. Mai glared at Suki. “Now is not the time,” she said, rubbing Ty Lee’s shoulders. 

Sokka shook his head at Suki. “What are you doing?” 

Her nostrils flared. “What, so I guess now I’m the only one upset that Ty Lee, who tried to help Azula kill us on multiple occasions, is still hanging out with her? Who knows what kind of lies Azula could be feeding her right now? She could be convincing her to assassinate you, Zuko. Aren’t you worried about that?” 

“You’ll handle that, won’t you, Suki?” Zuko grunted, shaking his head. “Agni, I can’t believe—” 

But Suki was through. “I can’t handle everything!” she yelled. “I can’t do it.” 

Sokka made a move to grab her hand, but then retreated. “Suki, nobody’s asking you to do that?” 

“They aren’t?” And Suki knew, somewhere deep down, that there had to be a better way to do this, but she was tired of looking for a better way. She was tired. “So what was Zuko doing when he sent the letter asking for the Kyoshi Warriors to come guard the Fire Palace? What was Aang doing when he got me involved in trying to find Toph? What was Katara doing when she asked me to reply to your letters?” 

Sokka’s face fell. “So you wouldn’t have even _replied_ if Katara didn’t ask you to? You just would have abandoned me without an explanation?” 

“I didn’t mean to abandon you, Sokka, that’s just the way you took it! I love you, asshole!” 

Sokka stared at her. Aang coughed. 

“Look, I think right now we need to focus on what we’re going to do about Toph. She’s far away and she’s hurt, I don’t know if bringing her to the Fire Nation or to one of the Water Tribes is a good idea.” 

“Meet her where she’s at,” Ty Lee said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. ‘Tell Katara to come. She brought Aang back from the dead once, right? She can help Toph, I know it.”

“Meet her where she’s at,” Sokka considered it for a moment. “I guess that’s a good idea.” 

“It’s what I’ve been doing with Azula. Well, more figuratively than literally, but still. We play pai sho a lot. It’s like taking over a city, but less violent.” 

“Thank you, Ty Lee,” Zuko said, smiling up at her. “She’s very lucky to have you.” 

“We’re very lucky to have you,” Mai said, hugging her.

Ty Lee smiled, and Suki smiled in her direction. Okay. The war was over. Ty Lee was no longer trying to get her, trying to hurt her, trying to put her in prison and impersonate her and hurt all of the people she loved. Someday, maybe, Ty Lee could be someone that Suki loved. 

Suki nodded. “Yeah. We really are.” 

________________________________

Seeing as Zuko didn’t have a Flopsy to put in charge while he went off in search of Toph, he entrusted the reparations negotiations to Mai. “Knock ‘em dead, Firelord Mai,” he murmured, kissing her briefly. 

“When I’m done with them, the Fire Nation won’t have a copper piece to its name,” Mai said drily. 

Suki laughed, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sokka, smiling that same old grin at her. They’d had an actual conversation after deciding to go to find Toph, and Suki told him how overwhelmed she’d been, and Sokka had held her close and told her that it was okay for her to need him, that it was always okay for her to lean on him. She didn’t mind him looking at her the way people looked at a clear blue sky, because she knew now that he would look at her the exact same way on her cloudy days. 

“I’ll make sure she doesn’t get out of hand,” Ty Lee said, standing next to Mai in full Kyoshi garb. 

Mai frowned. “I thought you were supposed to protect me?”

Ty Lee shook her head, smiling. “I protect you if the councilmembers get out of hand. And if you get out of hand, I protect the world from you. Right, Suki?”

Suki nodded. Right now, Ty Lee reminded her so much of the women she’d learned about, Kyoshi’s first warriors. Ordinary women striving to do better than they had the day before. Learning from their past misdeeds, and growing. Just like the Avatar herself. 

“Right.” She smiled at Ty Lee. “You’re going to be okay, right?” 

Ty Lee nodded. “Mai and I are going to go together one day. I think it’ll help.” 

“Not soon though,” Mai said quickly. 

Ty Lee smiled at her. “We’ll take it slow. It’ll be okay.” 

Mai looked a little less sure of that, but she squeezed Ty Lee’s hand anyway. “We’ll see you when you get back.” 

Suki gave each of them a hug and walked outside, to where Aang and Appa were waiting for them. Zuko climbed on, then Suki, then Sokka, squeezing her from behind. She kissed him on the cheek. They were going to be okay, she thought. As far as she was concerned, he was it for her. 

“Everybody hang on tight! Yip, yip, Appa!” Aang yelled. And away they flew. 

____________________

The village that Bumi had found Toph in was called Ranoru. When they touched down, Sokka scrunched up his nose. “It looks like Haru’s village.” 

“A lot of Earth Kingdom villages look alike. Trust me,” Zuko said, dismounting. 

“Shh, don’t be so loud about it,” a voice behind them said. Suki turned around. 

“Katara!” she yelled, running up to her before stopping, unsure what Sokka had told her. 

Katara smiled and shook her head. “Get over here, I missed you.” 

Suki would never tell Sokka, but much as she loved his hugs, Katara’s were on a different level of warmth. She exuded love at every moment, and for Suki, that was most evident in her hugs. 

When she pulled away, she smiled at Suki. “It’s going to be okay. Right?” 

Suki smiled. “Right.” She turned towards the rest of her friends. “Let me go in first?” 

Sokka nodded. “Yeah, of course. That’s a good idea.” 

Suki took a deep breath to steel herself, and walked inside. 

Toph was lying down on the bed, fast asleep. Her arm was bandaged up, and she had a few bruises on her face, but otherwise, she looked fine. She was going to be just fine. 

“Toph?”

Toph’s eyes blinked open. “Suki? You came?”

Suki hated the surprise in her voice. She hated the fact that maybe she was a part of the reason it was there. “Yeah, kid, of course I came. The others are outside, but I wanted to see you first.” 

Toph smiled, then winced. “Guess I’m not as healed up as I want to be.” 

“You’re going to be okay, though.” Suki stroked Toph’s hair. “Why’d you do it, Toph?” 

Toph sighed. “I don’t know. Nobody was around to stop me, I guess. You all had your jobs and your dreams, and I just—I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I didn’t have a plan for after the war. I didn’t know if I was going to live that long. And then we did, and everybody left, and all I could think was, ‘what now?’”

Suki very gingerly kissed the top of Toph’s head. “I’m sorry. I should’ve been there. I should’ve helped you.” 

Toph didn’t say anything. And then, after a while, “You sound tired.”

Suki laughed, wiping a tear from her eye. “Stop trying to take care of me.”

“I’m not trying to take care of you. I’m just saying. You’ve been guarding the Fire Palace, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you like it?”

Suki pursed her lips. “It’s not what I thought I’d be doing after the war, I guess. But it’s not bad.” 

Toph scoffed. “You didn’t fight in a war for ‘not bad’, Suki.” 

Suki huffed. “Zuko needs me. I don’t have a choice.” 

“Zuko needs the Kyoshi Warriors,” Toph pointed out. 

“I am a Kyoshi Warrior. That’s everything I am.” 

Toph laughed softly. “During the war, being Aang’s Earthbending master was everything I was. You saw where that got me.” 

Suki hummed. “What would I even do, Toph?” 

Toph smiled, and winced again. “Gee, I don’t know, maybe what you want?” 

“But I—” 

Toph shook her head. “No. _No._ You’re allowed to have your own dreams. And writing a real biography of Kyoshi, with all parts of her that people wanted to hide? That would be a good thing, Suki.” 

Suki smiled. “You’re persuasive, I’ll give you that.” She looked again at Toph’s bruises and bandages. “What about you? What are you going to do?” 

Toph shook her head. “What can I even do? All I know is Earthbending and scamming people.” 

“Maybe take a break from scamming people?” Suki suggested. “For now, at least?” 

Toph went quiet. “I guess I could go back to Earth Rumble. But that just feels so _meaningless_ after everything we did.” 

Suki nodded. “It’s not meaningless if it makes you happy.”

“But it wouldn’t.” Toph sighed. “I don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to run. I just. I want everything to be okay.” 

“What if you taught again?” Suki asked. She could feel herself brightening up. “I mean, Toph, you’re the greatest Earthbender of all time. You taught the _Avatar_ . You _invented metalbending_.” 

Toph considered it. “I guess teaching metalbending would be kind of cool, actually. Maybe I could stay with Iroh and Jet until I worked something out?” 

Suki smiled. “Yes, Toph! That’s a great idea. I can stay with you until I go back to Kyoshi.” 

Toph bit her lip. “To do research?” 

Suki’s smile turned into a grin. “What else?” 

Toph nodded. “Okay. Okay, let’s do it.” 

Suki grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “Let’s do it.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! if you want to talk to me about atla, sukka, Suki and Toph's friendship, follow me on tumblr @nonbinary-crafter-aang!


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